This morning inspired by Barbara Franken and company to share my journey of continued awakening through words and pictures. Humbled is the word that comes in first, as these words may some day inspire another to share their journey. This is the link to Barbara’s site and inspiration that led me to his moment. Thank you my friend. Barbara Frankenhttp://memymagnificentself.com/2016/01/26/february-challenge-inspiring-others-by-your-unique-awakening-experience/
What has influenced my awakening has been rocky, wavy, fast, slow, tearful, joyful, unexplained, grateful, yet so very humbled by falling down and continuing to get back up. This connection that we all share to opening our hearts larger than we thought possible has lead me to this moment. Fully present in this continuing journey.
My journey started in a small town in Michigan in 1956, born into what would be a “traditional” upbringing, feeling very “out of place” with what seemed to be a world of “painful” events. This quote from Byron Katie has opened up this illusion ,” You are the cause of your own suffering-but only all of it.” “There is no suffering in the world that’s real, there’s only an uninvestigated story that leads you to believe it.”
The first time that I experienced the “other side” of this “story” of pain and suffering was when I was 4 years old, in 1960. I fell into a 16 foot dry well, landed on my head and remained conscious, soon after my father climbed down in the well and brought me out. I was rushed in his car to the first hospital. “I am sorry” they spoke “we have no neurosurgeon, so we cannot help you.” My father drove to the second hospital two hours away, “they had no ambulance,” where a neurosurgeon worked on my head and I felt “no pain.” I rose above the room, and watched as they worked on me, joining the angels in communion, a place of ABSOLUTE peace and bliss. Then I heard a booming voice say , “you are not done,” which was tough for me to hear, yet I came back into my body. Never once having any painful symptoms of recovery. I continued my journey here.
Remembering this blissful day, I struggled with what I felt around me, losing “my mind” to what was then “the belief” that suffering was part of life. Speaking to my family about this bliss was unheard of. My father had been dealing with deep depression, with mother drinking and taking anxiety medication, we 4 siblings found ways “to cope.” I was told later by a spirit guide of mine that my father would have taken his life if I had not returned to my body that blissful day. No one wanted to hear how blissful “eternal life” was, so I stopped talking. (father was a prominent attorney/ judge and mother a housewife). From the outside, we had the Ozzy and Harriet life.
My Dad and I
My teenage years were full of struggles (looking outside for validation, love ect), only to find emptiness. I became a dental hygienist, moved to California, and found myself in a mental hospital. Boy what I chose to see there! I was deep in the illusions of guilt, pain, shame and suffering.
Remaining in the depths of the illusion, I got married (for the first time) lasting 2 years, ending in “separation.” Then the 2nd marriage where seeing myself came through having a “brilliant” daughter. When she said to me at 3 years old. ” I have a spirit Mom and she is helping you, she likes purple,” I got a glimpse of the bliss of “oneness” through my daughters eyes.
Then one fateful day after many days of ” not making any sense”, like giving all my clothes away, to going up to a severe car accident and saying, “its all about love,” I remained in clairvoyant chaos. My ex husband took me to my second mental hospital, “for my own safety,”as my daughter waited in the waiting room. I began my journey back to love. Refusing to take any medication, my connection to all of life started to return. Remembering the bliss of “eternity” was coming home inside myself again.
I began my “search” for “self” through Landmark Education, Scientology, Dr. John Demartini, all of which opened my eyes to asking questions that shattered the illusions of “the mind,” that “my”thoughts were “real” This quote from Eckhart Tolle sums up this vantage point. ” When you are detached, you gain a higher vantage point from which to view the events in your life, instead of being trapped inside them.”
Fast forward to “now” as March 13th 2016, experiencing “angel connections” with my very traditional life, living in Maui, remarrying in 2005 to husband Hoppy, connecting to others through my dental practices, daughter Aly is an engineer for IBM , outwardly traditional, inwardly “ONE,” entering into what I call 5D ,the world of love, where all else is an illusion. The timeless, ageless, space where suffering has no purpose, and recognizing when “it””suffering” pretends to be real. Remembering I have always been “home.” No longer looking “outside” or chasing “anything.”
Thanks again to Barbara and to all who have entered this journey of “awakening” Heart to Heart Robyn